7 Things I Learned From Adam Lambert
Published on: May 29, 2009 – 11:09 am by Jillian Madison 
I’m Jillian Madison. And I hate Adam Lambert. I’ve hated him since his first screechy note during auditions, and I’ve hated him and his growing ego throughout each one of his overrated, overhyped, overglorified performances during the season.
However, since Idol ended last week, I’ve had some time to reflect and grow. And I’ve come to the realization that Adam Lambert isn’t all bad. He did teach me a few very important life lessons along the way:
You may think you look like a funky, androgynous hipster, but you don’t. You look like a gothic douchebag with no clue how to apply the $4 Maybelline eyeliner and mascara you just picked up at CVS.
Drag can be entertaining and funny, but not so much if you’re sporting a wig that looks like it was made out of Dolly Parton’s old pubic hair.
It’s 2009. Why is Lambert still sporting the 1992 “lesbian chic” half-shaved mullet with the bang combover?
No matter how lame you are, a few people will always like you just because they think it’s cool and edgy to do so. Even if you’re an overrated, minimally talented douchebag like Lambert, some tools will still idolize you and want to talk to you… not because you’re awesome, but because they developed an abnormal parasocial relationship with you while you were on TV.
I never thought I’d say these words, but I agree with Clay Aiken’s assessment of Lambert. After seeing his Ring Of Fire performance, Aiken called Lambert “contrived, awful, and slightly frightening.” He’s right. Still though, how much do you have to suck to get publicly dissed by nice guy CLAY AIKEN?! Sorry, Lambert, that’s comically sad.
There’s a time and a place for ornate, bedazzled shoulder bras. The time is never, and the place is on set of the latest Hellraiser movie.
So thank you, Adam, for teaching me all these valuable lessons. I’m forever indebted. Now I’ll go back to counting down the days until you’re out of my face. Luckily, that will happen sooner than later, because the American public has an attention span shorter than Jackie Chan’s penis after a 30 minute swim in frigid waters… leaving us Lambert haters to laugh and frolick whimsically as he fades off into a pool of shallow obscurity.
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There’s a reason why the oddmakers, and general public overwhelmingly chose Adam.
But there’s no need to argue.
The proof is in the sales, the feedback of the mentors, the judges & his interviews. In the end, Adam, like all artists, will be judged by his sales and the musical legacy that he leaves behind. TheJewfrican(Quote)
My response to Jillian’s post:
7 STRIKING SIMILARITIES OF JILLIAN “MORON” MADISON AND MADAM GLAMBERT John(Quote)
She’s very MEAN and CRUEL. NOT FUNNY AT ALL. I don’t care if she hates Lambert with a passion but I think went too far overboard. I don’t even want to read it. And I want to go far overboard with my LOVE for her too. Visit my website: http://wehatejillianmadison.blogspot.com
Take a look at her websites and see how much delighted she is making fun, mocking, bashing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And on top of her heartless insults and trash talking she can still manage to put her smiling pictures. HOW DISGUSTING. WHAT A BITCH.
And she thinks there’s someone out there more mean, more rude than her??? Yeah, I never felt hatred over anyone for a long time until I encountered her whiny ass of a website on the internet. Oh I just love to hate her!
Jillian Madison is my role model. I want to be another Jillian Madison!!! JILLIAN MADISON IS A CRUEL BITCH(Quote)
Very FUNNY! It’s a parody, right? Well then I think in the name of art it works!
BWAH!!!! smac(Quote)
I agree that Adam is overrated, has an inflated ego, and did a lot of screaming. However, some of the points are a bit mean spirited – especially the comments about his skin. We’re supposed to be adults. CC(Quote)
funny as hell…lol Lola(Quote)
Funny, no. Just cruel. Jan(Quote)
That was pretty funny and so very true. It will be interesting to see how long he lasts and if everyone will be talking about him this time next year. Sarah(Quote)
Honestly I think she went too far, especially with the Pro-Activ reference. petra(Quote)
To the point. What a role model!!!! jane(Quote)
Bwah! That cracked me up! pixie(Quote)
Now that is funny, BWAH! deyabird(Quote)